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Comment on A Business Plan and Waiting for the Movie Version by John Erickson

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While reducing your antagonist to “It” is a good move, you do need a bit of “flowery prose” to set the scene.
Is it just me, or would your second quoted passage end better with the phrase “the path was level, yet chilling”? (Forgive the old proof-reader in me, and feel free to ignore my suggestions. :D )

John Erickson 07 Sep, 2011


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Source: http://thehacknovelist.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/a-business-plan-and-waiting-for-the-movie-version/#comment-2938
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